The woman is busy getting dressed when we see the Plesiosaur super-imposed in the window behind her. Apparently women are incapable of taking a shower if the lights go out. I personally found the woman in question attractive, but that's irrelevant. This means that, rather surprisingly, we get some rear nudity. Second, is that involves a woman taking a shower. For one thing, it reveals the fact that for a Plesiosaur, our beastie sure likes being on land a lot. Pardon me, do I have something in my teeth? It then taunts the third prankster with his friend's dead body. The second guy gets crunched when we get our first look at the Plesiosaur and its prop head. However, it's blatantly obvious the actor is just pulling himself underwater-we even see his knees bend when he hits the bottom of the pool. eventually one guy falls into the water and is pulled under. It literally consists of a sudden whirlpool with their kayak caught in it, a windstorm kicking up, and the Plesiosaur thwacking them repeatedly with its tail. Worse yet, the beachgoers actually scream, "It's a monster shark!"Īnyways, our second fatal attack occurs when the two wetsuited pranksters are ambushed by the Plesiosaur. Yes, this film actually steals that scene. Then everyone is distracted by a cardboard fin before they realize it's a hoax. The second attack-not counting a horse that loses its head-is the creature's outline arriving to destroy a dock where a really lame band is playing. During this, we hear splashes and screaming before we cut back to two hats floating in the water. The camera cuts from them to what looks like a log or something floating under the surface-I'm guessing the Plesiosaur-to a close-up of a pen sitting on a notepad on the shore. The first attack involves a couple on a paddleboat. I'll be focusing on them just because I do not think my memory alone can do justice to the rest of this film's idiocy and surreality. The monster attacks are pretty pathetic, for the most part. The Plesiosaur head looks like a bathtub toy with mulch glued to it in order to simulate seaweed. The special effects consist of some pretty shoddy puppets and some plastic-looking full scale props. The composer was seemingly blind-and probably deaf, too, judging by the music. It also never ceases to be inappropriate. The music of the film alternates between the soundtrack of a porn film and soft jazz. The plot does not progress in any sensible manner. The director seemed to think he was an artist and included many shots of things that in no way relate to the main story. Literally, this film makes no amount of sense. Hmm, I wonder what major motion picture about an underwater predator could have inspired this film? Hmm, I wonder. If you have any doubt what inspired the creation of this film, look no further than the fact that it was filmed, released, and set in 1977. In fact, that Rhamphorynchus does not even appear until the film is three-fourths of the way finished. This is rather nitpicky on my part but if the film were any good I'd be more inclined to forgive such small oversights.Įither way, the bulk of the monster role-such as it is-shall be filled by the Plesiosaur. Also, Rhamphorynchus-my favorite pterosaur-is not a bird. Prehistoric reptiles, yes, but not true dinosaurs. Now, I realize movies are under no obligation but be scientifically accurate but neither of these creatures are dinosaurs. ![]() Our monsters are a Plesiosaur and a Rhamphorynchus. For one thing, there are no dinosaurs in this film and for that matter there are no monster birds. Although, I they were also responsible for The Green Slime, a bad film in its own right but not remotely as painful.įirst out, I must point out that the title is inaccurate. They were not known for their monster movies and there's a good reason for that if this film is any indication. Just to fill in everyone on the back story of this thing, this comes courtesy of Toiei Studios, Japan. I spent every other minute of this film loudly shouting, in confused and bewildered indignation: "What the fuck?!" This thing could not have hurt me more if I had asked it to spank me harder. It hurts, my friends, and damn it when it comes to movies like this I am a masochist. Seldom have I seen a movie so consistently unable to do anything right. The Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds Well, Netflix delivered unto me a film I have been aching, for no good reason, to see for ages:
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